Post #2305002

Author: Robert Ott

Posted: May 1, 2023

I love stories. They are enriching and I learn so much from them. Stories have been a predominant way of communication since the beginning of time. Are you a storyteller or a story-listener? If not, you're missing out on so much.

When I was in elementary school my learning-to-read-books were about Dick and Jane, two children who lived next door to each other in a small New England village. I got to know their families, their neighbors, what their houses and neighborhood looked like, the specific stores on Main Street where they would buy things, the workers in the stores and their names, their adventures and misadventures.

One adventure they had was a family clambake on the seashore near where they lived. In my mind I can still see Jane’s daddy digging a pit in the beach sand, lining the bottom of the pit with large smooth stones, arranging driftwood on the stones and setting fire to it. When the stones were hot enough Jane’s daddy scooped off the hot driftwood coals and laid a bed of damp seaweed on the stones. After carefully placing fresh clam shells on top of the seaweed he covered them with more seaweed. As the seaweed heated up it released salty steam into the air and the clam shells opened. I can still visualize and smell the aroma of salty steam rising from the pit and hear the ocean’s waves crashing on the shore.

Why do I have such vivid memories of this particular story some 70 years ago?  One reason is it fed my wanderlust. Any story that provided me a glimpse of the world beyond what I had experienced or was experiencing captured my imagination and thrilled my heart. It was true then and still true today. Another reason is that my life as a child growing up was in a dysfunctional family. At the time I didn’t really understand that, but in retrospect I certainly do. I desired a sense of warmth, closeness, safety and security. I wanted to experience love. I wanted friendships. I wanted to be “normal.” I saw and experienced it through the stories of Dick and Jane.

Why do good stories touch us? It's because they tap into our emotions and allow us to experience different perspectives and situations beyond our own lives. They create a sense of empathy or sympathy in connection with the characters. Also, stories are a powerful tool for human communication and have been used for centuries because they tap into our natural inclination towards narrative, making them an effective way to share knowledge, teach morals, and entertain. Jesus used stories [parables] effectively with his audiences because his stories created engagement, encouraged reflection and convicted hearts. They helped Jesus communicate complex spiritual truths to his audiences in a way that was understandable and relatable.

I believe in the power of stories to help us navigate through what is called “emotional armor” or “defense mechanisms.” Both emotional armor and defense mechanisms are psychological strategies people, especially children, use to protect themselves from emotional pain and distress. Emotional armor refers to a person’s attempts to shield themselves from pain by consciously presenting a tough, unbreakable exterior. Defense mechanisms, on the other hand, are interior, unconscious, and are used to protect ourselves from unpleasant emotions and pain. When we experience people and situations in stories and they touch us deeply, something happens inside us to help us understand our own lives more clear as we relate to their situations.

Everyone has a story. That may shock some of you, but believe me it is true. Have you ever been asked by someone: “What’s your story?” and you go blank or feel they are trespassing on confidential ground; or feel on the inside “That’s a little personal” or you may have thought “I don’t have one” or “Who would want to know about me”? It's awkward and pretty normal. The good thing is today most Millennials and Gen Z’s are more willing and open to share about themselves than folks my age or a little younger.

When someone asks “What’s your story?” they are typically asking for a general overview of your life experiences including important events, challenges, successes, and anything else that has shaped who you are today. Essentially, they want to know more about you and your life journey. Knowing what has shaped who you are today is really important between people who are in community and relationship with you, care about you, and maybe even people you might be able to help, if they knew your story.

I didn’t realize I had a personal story until around 32 years of age and some very significant traumatic events occurred in my life. Working through those traumatic events brought me an awareness of my life story. Oh how I wish I had known much earlier in life, like in my teens, that I had a life story and would have had the courage to share it. My maturity, growth and healing would have been much easier. As I matured, grew and healed over the years, I became very aware that I did have a story to tell others.

One day I was walking by the bookstore at my church and saw this canvas in the window.